Forgiving what you cant forget study guide pdf free download

Hi, friend.

I’m so grateful you decided to join me for this study about forgiving what we can’t forget. I’m also proud of you. Because I know deeply and personally how hard all of this can be.

When your heart has been shattered and reshaped into something that doesn’t quite feel normal inside your own chest, forgiveness can feel so very unrealistic.

At first, we say it’s too soon.

And then years go by, and we say it’s too late.

In my own life, I knew as a Christian I was supposed to forgive. I may have even whispered a faint prayer using the word forgiveness. But truly understanding how to forgive? I wasn’t sure. And isn’t it odd that, though forgiveness is a major part of the Christian faith, most of us have never been taught much about it?

We know God commands us to do it. But how? Why? When? And are there exceptions?

After nearly a thousand hours of studying this topic in the Bible, I can’t say all my questions have been answered. Nor can I promise this is easy. But I can tell you the Bible offers the truth about forgiveness that our souls desperately need. And, best of all, God Himself modeled how to do this even when it feels impossible.

Instead of digging into just one book of the Bible during this study, we’ll be looking at incredibly rich passages throughout Scripture. These truths have meant so much to me personally in my own journey with forgiveness, and I’m believing they’re going to leave you forever changed too.

So, let’s open up His Word, open up our hearts, and invite His healing in.

Together, we can start seeing beautiful again.

Forgiveness

is a complicated

GRACE

that uncomplicates

my blinding pain

and helps me see

BEAUTIFUL

again.

HOW TO USE

THIS GUIDE

GROUP SIZE

The Forgiving What You Can’t Forget video study is designed to be experienced in a group setting, such as a Bible study, Sunday school class, or any small group gathering. To ensure everyone has enough time to participate in discussion, larger groups can break up into smaller circles of four to six people after the video is viewed. If you do need to split into smaller groups during your class time, make sure to select one person in each group to act as a facilitator for that group during your discussion.

MATERIALS NEEDED

Each participant should have her own copy of this study guide, as well as her own copy of the book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. This study guide contains notes for video segments, discussion questions, and personal studies that will deepen learning between group sessions. In addition, the leader will need to have the videos either on DVD or by digital stream/download.

WEEKLY SCHEDULE

This study guide also provides information at the beginning of each week on which chapters of the book should be read before the group session. You will dig deeper into the book in the personal studies between group sessions. Please note: It is recommended that the participants read the introduction and chapters 1–2 before the first class.

Below is a sample of the schedule you will find at the beginning of every new week.

TIMING

Time notations have been given for each heading of the group meeting sections of the study. These indicate the actual time of the video segments and the suggested times for discussion.

Noting these times will help you to complete each session within the time frame your group has available. If your group meets for two hours, you will most likely be able to cover a majority of the questions. Feel free to use any extra time you may have to go back and look at the previous week’s homework together, discussing the chapters and study questions more in depth. If your group meets for 90 minutes, you may find you need to pick a few of your favorite group questions to discuss after the video. Remember, the ultimate goal isn’t to make it through every single question but to have beneficial and meaningful discussions. We’ve found some of the most profound moments of a Bible study can happen when participants share experiential wisdom and personal revelations with one another.

You may also opt to devote two meetings rather than one to each session. In addition to allowing conversations to be more spacious, this option has the added advantage of allowing time to discuss the personal studies and the chapters of the book. In the second meeting for each session, devote the time usually allotted for watching the video to discussing participants’ insights and questions from their reading and personal study.

FACILITATION

Each group should appoint a facilitator who is responsible for starting the video and for keeping track of time during discussions. Facilitators may also read questions aloud and monitor discussions, prompting participants to respond and ensuring that everyone has an opportunity to participate. A brief leader’s guide for each session can be found in the back of this study guide.

Schedule

WEEK 1

SESSION 1

WHAT AM I

SUPPOSED

TO DO WITH

ALL THE

Hurt?

WELCOME! (SUGGESTED TIME: 2–5 MINUTES)

Welcome to session 1 of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. If this is your first time together as a group, take a moment to introduce yourselves to one another before watching the video. Then let’s get started!

OPENING REFLECTION: (SUGGESTED TIME: 10–15 MINUTES)

Leader Note: Have a few people share their response to this question before starting the video:

What was your most helpful takeaway from the introduction or chapters 1–2 of the book?

VIDEO (25:30 MINUTES)

Leader Note: Play the video segment for the Introduction and Session 1.

THIS WEEK’S STATEMENT

TO HOLD ONTO:

Forgiveness is not made possible by our determination. Forgiveness is made possible by our cooperation with what God has already done for us.

VIDEO NOTES

Forgiveness and reconciliation are not a package deal.

Forgiveness is the very thing God designed to help heal the hurting human heart.

When we refuse to let God’s forgiveness flow through us to other people, it becomes a heavy weight that can cause anxiety, fear, depression and angst that no human should have to bear.

Forgiveness isn’t dependent on another person making this right. It’s between me and God.

Genesis 4:1–7: The story of Cain and Abel

v. 6 paraphrase: Cain, why are you heating up all of your worries and frustrations to the point you are filled with anxiety and depression?

Psalm 4:4:

"Be angry, and do not sin;

ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent." (

ESV

)

Psalm 36:1–4: . . . even on their beds they plot evil. (v. 4)

Psalm 36:5–10

v. 5: "Your love, L

ORD

, reaches to the heavens,

your faithfulness to the skies."

The more we focus on God, the more focused we are on His peace. The more we focus on His peace, the more we’ll feel His peace.

When I only think I need a little bit of God’s forgiveness flowing to me, then I’m only willing to let very little forgiveness flow through me.

Matthew 5:42–44 (T

HE

M

ESSAGE

T

RANSLATION

) And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life . . . love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. (v. 42)

Genesis 4:7: If you do what is right = To make a thing good, or right, or beautiful.¹

Forgiveness is a complicated grace that uncomplicates my anger and helps me see beautiful again.

Group

DISCUSSION

(Suggested time: 40–45 minutes)

Leader Note: We have suggested questions to start with, but feel free to pick any of the additional questions as well. Consider the timeframe of your group and know the ultimate goal is meaningful discussion.

Please know there is no shame or condemnation as you answer these questions. Remember, this is just the beginning of a journey that will be beneficial, but also hard at times.

SUGGESTED QUESTIONS

1. It’s not uncommon for people to pull back and want to self-protect when they hear the word forgiveness. What are some of the reasons we may feel resistant to the idea of forgiveness?

[Your Response Here]

2. In today’s video we learned that forgiveness isn’t made possible by our determination. Forgiveness is made possible by our cooperation with what God has already done for us. What do you think it means to cooperate with what God has already done?

[Your Response Here]

3. Before watching this video, did you think that forgiveness and reconciliation were always a package deal? Why is it still important to forgive someone even if we don’t reconcile our relationship with them?

[Your Response Here]

4. Have someone read Genesis 4:6–8 aloud. God asks Cain to pull back from all the emotion swirling inside of him and to choose to do the right and good thing. What does Cain do instead? While most people would never go so far as murder, what could be some of the devastating outcomes of refusing to allow God to address feelings of anger, anxiety, and despair in our own lives? Why is it important to process forgiveness using God’s Word instead of only our thoughts and feelings?

[Your Response Here]

ADDITIONAL QUESTIONS (as time allows)

5. Read 1 Peter 5:7–9 aloud: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

What similarities do you see between this warning and the one God gives Cain at the end of Genesis 4:7: . . . sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it?

[Your Response Here]

6. Open your Bible to Psalm 36:1–4. Read this passage aloud and then discuss the attributes of someone who gives in to sin instead of ruling over it. Which of

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