Dont buy stuff you cant afford

Don’t buy stuff you cannot afford. It’s a simple mantra to help you get rich.

For some reason, some continue to not pay off their credit card bills every month.  Can you believe this nonsense? Who willingly buys something they cannot afford, and then pays massive interest on something for months, if not years? That’s just silly. Let’s get that 30 pound dumbbell and drop it on your toes.

After your metatarsals are broken, get a really long needle and start ramming them into your eyeballs. Maybe after a while, you’ll realize how stupid it is to live beyond your means.

We have proposed creating government restrictions on what you can and cannot buy, and how much credit you can get based on your high school and college transcripts. If you’re stubborn enough not to see the value of doing well in school, then you are likely stubborn enough to buy things you can’t afford.

The government can be a helpful big brother to save consumers from over-consumption. Listen here, this is only one solution to help protect people from themselves. You are welcome to offer up another novel solution too.

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I’ve been using Personal Capital since 2012 and have seen my net worth skyrocket during this time thanks to better money management. Don’t buy stuff you cannot afford!

Related: Things To Buy With Your Enormous Investment Gains

Readers, seriously, there can’t be people out there who don’t understand the concept of not buying stuff they can’t afford right?  Why don’t people just make more money if they want to buy more stuff?

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 31: Episode 12

05l: Steve Martin / Prince

Don’t Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford

Wife…..Amy Poehler
Husband…..Steve Martin
Spokesman…..Chris Parnell

[ open on couple trying to balance their checkbook ]

Wife: (sighs) I just can’t get these numbers to add up.

Husband: Like we’re never going to get out of this hole.

Wife: Credit card debt, does it ever end?

Spokesman: [walks in] Maybe I can help.

Husband: We sure could use it.

Wife: We’ve tried debt consolidation companies.

Husband: We’ve even taken out loans to help make payments.

Spokesman: Well, you’re not the only ones. Did you know that millions ofAmericans live with debt they cannot control? That’s why I developed thisunique new program for managing your debt. It’s called [presents book]”Don’t Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford.”

Wife: Let me see that… [grabs book, reads] “If you don’t haveany money, you should not buy anything.” Hmm, sounds interesting

Husband: Sounds confusing.

Wife: I don’t know honey, this makes a lot of sense. There’s a whole section here on how to buy expensive things using money you save.

Husband: Give me that… [grabs book, looks at it] And where would you get this saved money?

Spokesman: I tell you where and how in Chapter 3.

Wife: Ok, so what if I want something but I dont’ have any moneySpokesman: You don’t buy it.

Husband: Well let’s say I don’t have enough money to buy something. Should I buy it anyways?

Spokesman: No-o-o-o.

Husband: Now I’m really confused!

Spokesman: It’s a little confusing at first.

Wife: Well what if you have the money, can you buy something?

Spokesman: Yes.

Wife: Now take the money away. Same story?

Spokesman: Nope. You shouldn’t buy stuff when you don’t have the money.

Husband: I think I got it. I buy something I want, and then hope that I can pay for it right?

Spokesman: No. You make sure you have money, then you buy it.

Husband: Oh, THEN you buy it. But shouldn’t you buy it before you have the money?

Spokesman: No-o-o-o.

Wife: Why not?

Spokesman: It’s in the book. It’s only one page long. The advice is priceless andthe book is free.

Wife: Well, I like the sound of that.

Husband: Yeah, we can put it on our credit card.

Spokesman: [shakes head]

Announcer: So get out of debt now, write for your free copy of “Don’t BuyStuff You Cannot Afford.” If you buy now you’ll also receive, “Seriously,If You Don’t Have the Money, Don’t Buy It!” Along with a 12-monthsubscription to “Stop Buying Stuff Magazine.” So order today!

Submitted Anonymously

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. View all posts by Don Roy King