Most guys have a love/hate relationship with Valentine's Day. Sure, it's a fine opportunity to show just how much we care about you, to smother you with tokens of affection, to gorge on chocolate-covered-everything (including you? Please?) and suck down mid-week champagne like it's New Year's Eve. But to many of us, it's also a ginned-up, commercialized, soul-sucking sham of a holiday that goads us, each year, into obligatory (and expensive) displays of ardor we’d rather spend in other ways, at other times (though still on you, of course).
Fact is, if we’ve been doing our jobs right as boyfriends, fiancés, husbands, and sons, February 14th shouldn’t hold sway as such a spotlight moment, this steroidal, adrenalized love hijacking dressed in red ribbon and made sick on bad candies and cheap wine.
If we’ve been pulling our weight, we wouldn’t be force-marched through this macabre amateur hour, with its teeming hoards of mind-controlled love zombies dully thronging the city, just going through the motions while the real romance—stolen moments, unexpected gestures—is left backstage.
More From Women's HealthOkay, okay. We’ll suck it up. But if we had our way, it’d just be the two of us, some big glasses of wine, and hell—some takeout (or some skirt steak and hen-of-the-woods mushrooms if we’re feeling ambitious).
As for us? If you’re really so inclined, help us evolve a bit. A boutique bourbon instead of a handle of the cheap stuff—maybe even an appointment to tour a local distillery. Or how about a butchery class, with a nice new chef’s knife that, come to think of it, might slice nicely through the aforementioned beef. Is a buttery-smooth overnight bag stuffed with some beach clothes and two round-trip tickets to someplace sandy too much to ask? Probably.
But you get the point. We love you—we really do. We just want to show it our way, not Hallmark’s. And we want you to do the same. And if we’re doing our job, as I’ve mentioned, we already will have said thoughtful things, commented subtly on your new haircut, maybe even picked something up at the store for you on an out-of-town business trip.
So help us stand apart from the pack. Valentine’s day, to most guys, isn’t about following a script. It’s about getting away from all of that. Okay, some of the sappy stuff we’ll keep: You, me, a bearskin rug in front of some roaring oak limbs. We'll put on some slow jams. The wine will flow. Will there be s'mores? That's up to you. Yes? Great, we’ll bring the chocolates. But whatever the case, we'll spend the night melting into each other instead of a manufactured tray of waxy, pre-packaged chocolates.
Wouldn’t that be nice?
See the Girl Next Door's thoughts about Valentine's Day on Men's Health.
More from
WH:
11 Reasons Men Love
Women
The Male Brain,
Decoded
9 Things a Guy Will Never Reveal
A jar full of love notes is one of Rob Waadt’s ideas for a romantic and fun Valentine’s Day gift.
Dan Lund, for the Deseret Morning News
2 of 2
Spending on Valentine’s Day has increased, but American’s aren’t in love with the holiday like they were before the recession, according to data from the National Retail Federation.
The average person plans to spend $130.97 on gifts for their loved ones, which is up from $126.03 last year. Total spending on the holiday will hit $18.6 billion.
“Valentine’s Day remains one of the biggest gift-giving holidays of the year, and although consumers will be conscientious with their spending, it’s great to see that millions of Americans are still looking forward to celebrating with their loved ones,” said NRF President and CEO Matthew Shay in a statement from the company.
Despite the increase in spending, the participation levels still remain below pre-recession levels.
Sixty percent of American consumers said they would be celebrating Valentine’s Day, which is a three-percentage point drop from 2009. Participation hit 58 percent in 2011, the lowest in nine years.
Men plan to spend about $175.61 on gifts this Valentine’s Day while women are planning nearly half, spending only $88.78 this year.
Consumers sounded off in a recent piece in on Time.com.
“Guys seem to spend handsomely mainly to avoid being in the doghouse with their partner,” Kit Yarrow, chair of the psychology department at Golden Gate University, said in her Time.com article. “When I asked eight middle-aged, married businessmen at a Toronto airport lounge about Valentine’s Day gifts for their wives, there were groans and eye rolls all around. Yet all were of the opinion that a gift was obligatory. ‘Just to make sure’ was the most common reason given for buying a gift.”
Though others are even more annoyed by the romantic holiday, they still participate.
“It’s a rip-off holiday,” one man said. “They jack up the prices at all the restaurants, flowers, everything is more expensive.” So will he be giving something to his wife of 20-plus years on Valentine’s Day? Of course! “I’ll get her something to wear, I guess.”
There are ways to enjoy Valentine’s Day without dipping into your savings accounts.
A recent article in the Deseret News outlines 14 ways you can save money on the upcoming holiday.
Some of the suggestions include visiting local landmarks, having a karaoke night or going ice skating.
EMAIL:
TWITTER: @joeyferguson