If you had a bridal shower you'll want to show your appreciation to your family and friends who helped make it special. You probably also want to acknowledge any presents you received. The perfect way to show your appreciation is to write a personal, thoughtful thank you note. But writing a card isn't always as easy as it seems. You might be wondering how long it should be or what it should say. Should you mail them or is email OK?
To answer all your questions, we reached out to etiquette expert Dianne Marsch. She provided general tips for writing thank you notes as well as guidelines for when and how to send them. She helped us draft example thank you notes for different kinds of guests, too. Maybe someone attended the bridal shower and didn't bring a gift or they sent a gift but didn't attend the shower? Read on to learn everything you need to know to craft meaningful thank you notes.
Meet the Expert
Dianne Marsh is an etiquette expert who runs the Etiquette School of Manhattan.
Bridal Shower Thank You Card FAQs
What is the purpose of a thank you card?
A bridal shower is a live event, so there is an opportunity for the bride to thank each guest—whether they attended the shower, sent a gift, or hosted the party—in person. But a written thank you card is still necessary because it shows an even greater level of gratitude and appreciation, says Marsch.
"Shower gifts are opened in front of the giver, and your gratitude should be shown immediately. Many feel this personal display of appreciation eliminates the recipient from having to write a thank you note," she explains. "But good manners always dictate that a sincere thank you note should be written to each guest who gave a shower gift, and a specially worded thank you note should be written to the host or hostess of the event."
Who gets a thank you card?
Thank you cards should be sent to anybody who sent a bridal shower gift, whether they attended the shower or not. Anybody who was involved in hosting or organizing the event should also receive a note of appreciation.
If a guest attended the bridal shower but didn't bring a gift, it is not necessary to send a thank you card.
Should I send thank you cards via the mail or email?
Marsch says thank you cards should always be printed and mailed. Some brides even like to go all out and send thank you cards on engraved stationery or stationery that matches the bridal shower theme. While that is fun, it is not necessary. "Plain notepaper, single sheets, or folded notes with matching envelopes are very nice and much less expensive," offers Marsch. "It is never acceptable to use pre-printed thank you cards."
When should I send a bridal shower thank you card?
"Wedding shower thank you cards should be sent within the week following the shower," says Marsch. You don't want to wait before expressing your appreciation. Also, you'll have other wedding-related tasks to do, so it's best to get these completed and out of the way!
Bridal Shower Thank You Card Writing Tips
Chose quality over quantity.
Bridal shower thank you cards don't have to be long. "A thank you note can consist of just a few lines to several paragraphs," says Marsch. She adds close friends and relatives should get longer notes with more details: "An example would be thanking an aunt who spent many hours sewing a quilt in your favorite colors. The thank you note should express all the time and love that was put into making it."
Keep thank you cards personal.
While thank you notes don't have to be long, they should be personal and tailored to the individual. "Always mention the gift by name and why you are so delighted or happy to have received it," shares Marsch. "Also how it will be used is a nice added thought to include depending on the gift." So if you get a picture frame, for example, include some ideas of the types of pictures you might display in it.
Focus on the thought behind the gift.
If you don't love a gift, don't fret. Just focus on the thought behind it. "If there is a gift that you may not enjoy receiving, you are still expected to express your sincere appreciation for the thought and effort from the guest, and for attending the shower," she says. "Remember, whatever the gift, whether a gift of their time, talent or other, should be acknowledged through a thank you note of how their gift brought happiness and their kindness sincerely appreciated."
If given cash, share how you'll use the gift.
"In the rare instance that someone should give money for a shower gift, it is optional whether to include in your thank you note the amount, but definitely share how it will be spent," explains Marsch. You can talk about using it towards buying something nice for your new home or your honeymoon.
Bridal Shower Thank You Card Examples
Guest Bought a Gift From the Registry
Dear [name],
It was so kind of you to gift me the wine glasses I always wanted. I look forward to many happy nights drinking from them, and I know they will bring me much joy in my new home. It was also so lovely to see you at the bridal shower. You added to the fun, and I will always remember that day with you. I look forward to seeing you soon for more wedding festivities.
With kind regards,
[name]
Guest Bought a Gift Not From the Registry
Dear [name],
It was so thoughtful of you to give me that handmade quilt. I love that it is made in my favorite colors, and I know it will look beautiful in my new home. I can feel all the love and thought you put into it, and it is much appreciated. I'm looking forward to celebrating with you at my wedding.
With kind regards,
[name]
Guest Sent a Gift But Didn't Attend the Bridal Shower
Dear [name],
Thank you so much for sending me the beautiful vase. It is going to look lovely in my new home, and I can't wait to fill it with fresh flowers. I missed you at my bridal shower, but I appreciate you thinking of me during this happy time. I'm looking forward to celebrating with you at my wedding.
With kind regards,
[name]